by Erin Arthel
(who has nothing to do with this prank and thinks that it was totally mean)
Somebody played a prank on poor Wendy when she took a nap and pushed her sleeping bag with her on a float onto the lake. While the exact way she ended there from her tent at the top of the mountain remains a mystery, Wendy had quite a surprise when waking up and still half asleep, tried to walk around. Ending up fully clothed in the lake while screaming and spluttering woke her fully, to the amusement of the onlookers (including a teacher!).
As anyone who has attended a sleepover as a kid will tell you, there is a supposed myth that sticking a sleeping person’s hand into warm water will make them wet the bed. This was tested on the television show MythBusters.
Last Saturday, two unnamed students decided to see if this was a Fact or a Myth! Angelina Soffian fell asleep on a couch just before the Council meeting was to begin. With much giggling, these two students fetched a large pan of warm water, placed it on the floor next to the slumbering Ange, and then put her hand into it.
It was at least 10 minutes into the Council meeting when Ange woke up to a wet arm, but sadly, dry every place else. In fact, when asked if she had wet herself, Ange replied “I am not like you, pumpkins.”
Does sleeping with your hand in warm water cause bed wetting? With only one test subject, our two student researchers lack proper empirical evidence. Their research continues!
Test subject Angelina Soffian helping the field of science
After only two classes, History has become very popular with VA students that can attend during WES hours! The class is held starting at 6:00 P.M. SLT on Thursdays and focuses on Ancient Greece. Students seem to respond well to Mrs. Doyle’s tough no-nonsense attitude, as well as her humorous lectures.
However, students seemed to be a bit startled at her announcement last Thursday that class would begin with a pop quiz. The younger Soffian (this intrepid reporter) was scolded for talking without raising her hand when she joked to the elder Soffian sister that the pop quiz must be about their father. Get it? Pop….father? Mrs. Doyle was not amused, presumably like most of you dear readers.
Even though Mrs. Doyle had given more than a few hints about a potential quiz, some students were heard to mutter, sigh, and at least one person was seen gnawing on his pencil in anxiety. Shortly though, the quizzes were over and turned in. The main part of the class began with students giving presentations. Each student was to give a short presentation on modern inventions that have there roots in Ancient Greece.
Jenni kicked off the presentations with a wonderful talk on how the Greeks finished a canal that had been thought of and started under Egyptian pharaohs. This was the Suez Canal, which originally was called the Pharaohs Canal. Jenni described how earlier attempts had failed to overcome elevation differences, which the Greeks solved with the invention of locks, which are kind of like valves.
Jenni talks about how Ancient Greeks helped create canals with locks.
Seraphina began her presentation on how the Greeks first formulated rules and axioms about geometry and tried to understand the principles behind it instead of just using the results of it. Sera stated how Thales of Miletus in the 6th century BC formulated the first set of geometric rules. While Sera clearly knew what she was talking about, some students were seen scratching their heads.
Sera talks about Greek contributions to Geometry
Anna’s presentation began with her giving clues to her classmates before she showed her visual presentation. First, she pointed out that the device is helpful in relieving stress and anxiety, probably more so in women and especially mothers. No one could guess what it was. She then pointed out that it is designed to go inside the human body, which caused Mrs. Doyle to murmur “Surely she is not going to say a….”
But it was clever Kenny who shouted out “Thermometer” and a giggling Anna stated that any mother who is stressed out and feeling anxious about their sick child will tell you, a thermometer can tell you how high a temperature they have. Evidently Greeks of Alexandria first discovered that air expands when exposed to high temperatures, which lead to the following invention of modern thermometers, which soon after led to the development of Sponge Bob Square Pants thermometers.
Anna shows how the Greeks contributed to thermometers and Sponge Bob
Evelyn informed the class how the Greeks invented the Olympics which are still held around the world. Evelyn came into the classroom with a lighted Olympic flame, much to Mrs. Doyle’s alarm who commented “Please do not burn down the school…. Miss Pi’ne will kill me.” Evelyn told the class that it all came about with mankind defying a God! She said we were all made when Prometheus and Epimetheus made us out of mud and Athena breathed light into it. Prometheus ended up gifting us fire and allowed us to stand upright, just like the gods! But that angered Zeus who took the fire away, but Prometheus stole it back, giving it back to humans. Evidently, Zeus was angered by this, chaining Prometheus to a pillar and smacking him with an eagle daily. Mrs. Doyle stated that she never heard of the eagle “smacking” Prometheus, however she complimented Evelyn and asked her to sit, after extinguishing her flaming torch.
Evelyn presents information on the Olympics and scares everyone with her torch.
Angelina made everyone chuckle with her explanation of the Greek invention of the “Pythagorean cup” and demonstrated how it worked with a wonderful model that she created. According to legend, the cup was designed as a prank that would empty at the bottom in an ingenious manner if the guest poured too much in the cup. If you were greedy, you got an empty cup! Ange explained how it all worked and demonstrated it with her model. Ironically, the only use the Greeks found for this was as a silly curiosity to entertain at parties. The modern use of this would be as toilets, which are very useful!
Ange demonstrates the principles of the “Pythagorean cup”
Kenny presented the Archmidedes’ Screw. Archmidedes was a Greek engineer and inventor who invented many things. As Kenny explained, he was commissioned to design a large ship to carry 600 people. The issue with large ships especially at that time was the bottom of the ship would fill up with bilge water and could sink. Archmidedes solved this by developing a screw pump for removing water using a screw inside an encasement which was open at both ends. The motion of the screw inside the encasing would pull water out of the boat from one end of the encasement. And then put the water back into the sea through the other opening at the other end of the encasement. Thereby, keeping the boat afloat. This reporter has many comments on motion and screws, but on the advice of counsel, is keeping them to herself.
Kenny’s presentation on Archmidedes’ Screw
The class went over time by 20 minutes, but no one complained! Mrs. Grace seemed very pleased and commented to students “I’m really impressed by everyone. Your presentations were well researched and very entertaining. You should all be proud of yourselves!”
From the expressions on their faces, the students of Mrs. Doyle’s History class were certainly proud of themselves. However, it should be noted that one of our students did not present that night, which meant that the class ended with Mrs. Doyle’s quiet “Class is dismissed for everyone except for my Finn.”
As we have more than our fair share of geeks at our beloved school, we at the Victoria Voice thought it would be appropriate to wish you all a happy Star Wars Day! This is the day to say to others “May the Fourth be with you!”
Star Wars Day is celebrated around the world and certainly by some of our students and staff at VA. Miss Soffian is a fan of the movie franchise and it has even been rumored that Miss Pi’ne when she was a prefect, made the Kessel Run in fourteen parsecs! Or was it twelve?
So, on this day, take some time to embrace your inner nerd! Watch the movies or challenge Shani to a light saber fight! Be careful, she is good!
Enjoy the day, VA!
“That was not a scream of pain. Move along.”
Taking a few practice swings of the old light saber!
Wookie visitor thinking of applying to the school!
Saturday was a very active day! Prefects conducted inspections in the dormitory, ensuring uniforms were clean and appropriate, especially that proper underclothes were worn. One prefect confessed to this reporter “We are terrified of Ms. de Rutrot and her philosophy of ‘trickle down punishment’, especially after she started caning Evelyn for the infractions of the students in House Evelyn.” This reporter can confirm that indeed Deputy Head Ms. de Rutrot and our esteemed Headmistress have been on what one student uncharitably described as “on the war path”, when it comes to student uniform cleanliness and some of the unauthorized decorating in the dorm. Prefects seem to desire to protect their own bottoms by putting the pressure on to the members of their houses. The inspection went well for most students, although there were several demerits reported to Ms. de Rutrot, including one student that was wearing transparent panties and another one wearing none at all!
Wendy and Erin stand ready for inspection. Ooops! Erin, is that an unframed decoration?
Later that day, our Student Representative Anna Soffian held Student Council, where fun topics such as the upcoming Camp Pine, the VA World Fair, the Around the World club, Student Recognition Award, and club activities like En Garde and Ballet were discussed. It was an enjoyable meeting, although Jenni Windrider seemed to have trouble finding a comfortable sitting position.
Much of the meeting included questions from students on Camp Pine, with students learning that they will be sleeping in tents, news that many found exciting. Question ranged from who would be cooking the food to whether camp clothes like t-shirts and hoodies would be provided. Sadie Pi’ne confirmed that camp clothes would be provided and another council member stated that as long as she had her candy back pack, food was a secondary consideration. The World Fair also drew much conversation with the countries, regions, and states that are planned to be represented listed by School Secretary Shani Cramoisie. Students seemed very excited about the World Fair with a general call by the Student Representative for team collaboration and a sharing of resources and talents. The meeting concluded with laughter as our mathematics teacher Miss Soffian dragged the Student Representative away by her ear, stating it was time to talk about where she got her candy backpack.
In anticipation of our school’s exciting Spring Fling dance to be held at Sarah’s Magic Kingdom this Saturday, here is some useful information about SMK and what staff and students will experience.
First, we will be holding our dance in the SMK’s MouseWorld Memorial Hall. It will be decorated and we will be able to dance to fun music, including some favorite Disney tunes. Be sure to wear a great costume. You might win the costume contest!
Besides wonderful dancing, there are also many rides! If you have been to Disney’s Magic Kingdom in various locations around the world, you might notice the detail of how they were created. For example, at Walt Disney World in Orlando, the Pirates of Caribbean has a long meandering walk to the ride. Disney created this to keep people entertained while they stood in long lines, but at SMK, it is faithfully recreated. Even though there are no lines!
You can also take pictures with Characters. Hopefully, we will have characters visiting our party, but if not, you can take pictures with cardboard cutouts of your favorite characters!
And if dancing, riding rides, and taking pictures is not enough fun…how about eating and shopping! SMK has lovely places to eat and to shop for that special souvenir.
So, join us this Saturday for a fun VA Disney experience!
When Europe Sleeps or WES as some students affectionately call it, is doing well! This program was created to promote an active presence on campus during the traditional hours of the Americas when our European friends are normally slumbering. Although it should be noted that some of our WES participants are European, who keep odd hours. Initially, the WES presence started with one Disney obsessed Senior Prefect and her mother, aided by a funny Junior Prefect and a very sweet and nice boy. With the occasional presence of another Senior Prefect who often refused to wear panties. Then Miss Luna came along! And others, some who disappeared, but others that stayed! Now we regularly have the Soffians, the Cramoisies (minus Shani), Evelyn, Kenny, Tomoko, Jenni, Erin, Soro, and Finn with his lovely patron Miss Grace Doyle. And others!
As the WES turns, so does the Days of our Lives!
This week was especially interesting. Early in the week, Anna (this intrepid reporter!) and Evelyn held dorm and uniform inspections. The boys being inspected were Finn and Tomoko, while the girls were Jenni and Victoria. Sadly, the boys did better than the girls! Finn and Tomoko were impeccably dressed in school uniforms and well groomed, also! Their beds were properly made and items stored properly, although Finn’s slippers were slightly askew. The obvious elephant in the room was the new construction in the boy’s room, which the prefects ignored as Miss Pi’ne was already planning to address that.
Jenni did well also, but poor new Applicant Victoria had a dirty uniform. However, the Senior Prefect decided to be kind and give her an opportunity for a repeat inspection later this week. Especially when the Senior Prefect’s mother pointed out that her uniform was also dirty!
WES people also had a tea party attended by the Soffians, Kenny, Finn, Tomoko, Jenni, and Evelyn. The party was held in the dorm common room. It was a very nice chat with various topics of interest being discussed. Miss Soffian shared a humorous video for everyone to watch and Kenny suggested for what seemed like the hundredth time that VA needs a sex education class. This intrepid reporter violated her journalistic integrity and her vow of non-violence to tell Kenny if he suggests that one more time that she would punch him in the face. Later, it was pointed out to Kenny that given the number of times prefects have discovered students “snuggling”, that there seems little that the school could teach. This reporter also stated that according to her knowledge, there had no never been a case of sexually transmitted disease at VA, which caused someone to suggest this marketing line “Victoria Academy! We have never had a case of sexually transmitted disease!”
Later in the week, another tea party was held with discussions on Star Trek and Star Wars, which proves that geeks and tea do make a good combination!
The Soffian Treehouse!
The Soffians have added new treehouse and invited Evelyn over to see it this week. It is a lovely structure with a tire swing, rope ladder and even a fire place, which caused considerable concern from Pumpkins Soffian. The treehouse is large and impressive, but a bit primy, prompting Miss Soffian to comment that perhaps they need to downsize their main house. Pumpkins went into hysterics and was promptly put to bed.
Our beloved VA has been invaded! Not by deranged former members of our school that accuse us of being cultists! But by a disgusting horde of biting snapping insects. Again, this description still might be misleading…not deranged former school members.
We have been invaded by ants! On Thursday evening or early Friday morning, depending on which side of the Atlantic Ocean you happen to be on, ants were discovered in our dining hall. Apparently, the nasty creatures where attracted by two slices of partially eaten pizza carelessly left on the floor. There were hundreds of ants who seemed to be coming from some sort of pod like object on the floor. Obviously, it was their house and they were here to stay!
This intrepid reporter was the first person on the scene, quickly and without fear climbing on top a table to take the “tactical high ground” to better view the enemy and to determine how to eradicate the vermin. Completely without panic, tears, and certainly no trickle of pee running down her leg, your brave school reporter screamed for assistance and was soon joined by Jenni and Miss Soffian. Miss Soffian was heard to ask “What has pumpkins done now?”
A quick debate over how to best kill the ants occurred, where a lack of gasoline and matches led to the determination that fire could not be used. It was then that Jenni had a brilliant idea!
Jenni started to spray the ants with a fire extinguisher and the creatures seemed to initially die. However, they quickly revived and began to eagerly creep toward Jenni, whose fire extinguisher coughed out its last gasp. At this, the girls were dragged away by Miss Soffian to the common room where a note was sent to our beloved dorm mother Miss Luna Cramoisie informing her of both the ant infestation and the now empty fire extinguisher. The consensus of the girls at this time was “It’s not my job”. Shortly after this, Miss Luna sent a note in disagreement, informing students in general that if these ants reached her office that there would be serious trouble.
By this time, Jenni wisely decided to go home, with Finn and Evelyn joining the anti-ant brigade. Evelyn was shocked at the ants and kept asking about the pod where they seemed to live. These students felt that the best way to get rid of the ants was to remove the pod and the food on the floor. At this point, the students threw the pizza in the trash and put the pod outside next to Miss Pi’ne’s large tree. Finn tried to explain about ants and pheromones and how they find the food source by leaving a trail. It was interesting! Who knew that Finn was so knowledgeable?
After a few minutes, the remaining ants in the dining hall, crawled off looking a bit dejected. Sort of like students trudging to Miss De Rutrot’s office for one of her “special meetings”.
But, most importantly, the ants are gone! But will they return?
There was a lovely tea party on Monday that was attended by students, a staff member, and a school visitor. It was an impromptu affair although it happened to occur during the actual scheduled 6:00 p.m. time. The party was attended by Kenny, Jenni, Evelyn, Anna, Miss Soffian, and a visitor called Catherine Palen.
Even though the tea party was mostly attended by Americans, who as a rule are not known for appreciating teas, this one was enjoyed by all. We had discussions on topics such as the fun stuff we do at school, the birds and the bees, and how VA students are mostly cool, except for their bottoms occasionally. Kenny stated for the 60th time this year that we need a sex education class.
Despite some near naughty conversation, everyone was very behaved. We found out Catherine is from Europe and not America, which is unfortunate for the When Europe Sleeps program. Still, she seems like a very nice girl.
We all tried to follow proper tea party etiquette, with limited slurping and no ridiculous pinky finger waving from the cup. Evelyn burped once but that might have been the dessert, which may have been a bit stale. Anna found it, a lovely cake with a lemon frosting, under Emma’s bed.
All in all, it was a lovely time! We all gained an appreciation for tea parties and all the social niceties that it entails.
This reporter was able to catch up with our beloved mathematics teachers, Miss Angelina Soffian. She graciously agreed to an interview where we hope to find out more about her and her class. Well, not “we”. I mean, I know all about her, but you folks reading this may not know her that well.
Anna: What do you find most rewarding about teaching at VA?
Miss Soffian: The knowledge that I can teach all of you something that will help you survive in the world, and not end up in one of those “places.”
Anna: What sort of places do you mean, Miss Soffian?
Miss Soffian: Places with music. Bright lights. Fun and crazy dancing
Anna: Uhmmmm….Momma, I mean Miss Soffian. Are you sure you are not mistaking Miss Pi’ne for the crazy preacher man from Footloose?
Miss Soffian: I don’t know. You may have to ask her.
Anna: Ok, moving on. You have a busy teaching career and you are the mother to a precocious, funny, and beautiful daughter. Do you have trouble balancing that with your busy shopping schedule?
Miss Soffian: No. The key is not having a schedule. And by not having a schedule, I mean, I wing it all the time.
Actually, I have no time for shopping. Ms Pi’ne doesn’t pay me as much as everyone thinks.
Anna: How do you think Math Like an Egyptian is going? Do you think your students are becoming inspired?
Miss Soffian: Yes, I believe so. I think the student are ready to apply their learned skills, and we are ready to move to Part Two: “Build Like an Egyptian”. However, there is always more to learn before that.
Anna: When you say we are moving to Build Like An Egyptian….what will we be doing?
Miss Soffian: We will be building a pyramid for Mr B. And no, not because of his age, but because of his senior status. Mr B, after all, is at the peak of his greatness…..er, his prime.
Anna: Building a pyramid for Mr. B….well…gosh…uhm..weren’t most pyramids….tombs?
Miss Soffian: Egyptians built pyramids for great people, pumpkins.
Anna: You seem very fond of the yard stick as a tool for punishing students. Some students might refer to it as a meter stick or at least the ones using the obscure metric system. Why do you like using the yard stick, Miss?
Miss Soffian: It was a gift from Ms Pi’ne. It is dear to me.
Anna: Why do you feel all VA students should attend your math class?
Miss Soffian: Everyone should attend math class because it is fun and exciting, and occasionally there is an entertainment, in the form of spanked bottoms.
Anna: Thank you very much, Miss Soffian for taking the time to be interviewed.
Miss Soffian: You are very welcome, naked pumpkins… I mean.. Anna, for taken your time to interview me. Your favorite Math teacher.
This reporter again wishes to thank Miss Soffian for allowing me to interview her. I will neither confirm or deny that I was naked and being put to bed during this interview.